Back when I was young, we wouldn’t have. So, we still knew. Beware of the nostalgia of the midlife crisis. It’s clear that we were the last reasonable generation on this planet, after that it went downhill fast. Just look at the kids today: going to school in baggy leggings (girls) and sweatpants (boys). No dignity, no manners. What will the neighbors say? And the principals?
Time for an intervention. This is what the chairperson of the Federal Parents‘ Council demanded, stating that schools should reach a consensus on appropriate clothing. No more torn clothes, baggy pants, and belly-baring looks! I am all in favor of educating our children on matters of consensus; however, I am surprised that it is precisely my generation that wants to guide today’s youth in matters of clothing. Those who never wore super low-cut bootcut jeans, belly-baring sequin tops, and denim mini skirts to school should cast the first stone today!
Furthermore, one would like to remind the mothers who are now storming against the youth trends in the Federal Parents‘ Council that it certainly wasn’t their daughters who were buying „jeggings“ in bulk at H&M and Zara ten years ago because their mom jeans didn’t fit well anymore and leggings had their advantages here and there. We only have ourselves to blame if we chose Converse and Dr. Martens as our favorite shoes (all so beautifully grungy, right?). So, what exactly is left for the teens then?
„I cannot reword“
Admittedly, I long for the days of Popper and Punk when some were preppy and others were messy, so the roles were clearly defined. Today’s Goth Punk girls confusingly listen to Techno, and the long-haired boys think Temple of the Dog is a dog grooming salon. In short, I no longer understand today’s youth, which pretty much sums up my generation’s role description. But we must look at the bright side!
There are people who fear that the younger generation is obsessed with gender, but when it comes to kids, everything is fine in terms of gender: the girls dress up, the boys relax, what more do you want? Jogging pants are the epitome of chic for young men who, due to their excessive masculinity and general wide-leggedness, do not know how to properly compress their limbs. Especially since the side stripes on the joggers visually elongate the legs so nicely. This also works with girls who, at the critical age of thirteen to fourteen, are usually a head taller than the boys.
Die Sitten können auch gar nicht mehr verfallen, weil wir, meine lieben Damen, die Latte unserer Tage doch recht niedrig gelegt haben. Etwa als wir uns mit sechzehn das zarte Bauchnäbelchen piercen ließen, um den Glitzerklunker dem verschreckten Lehrpersonal vorzeigen zu können. So saßen wir da, die Bauchfalte wund, aber das Ego befriedigt. Ich kombinierte das Ganze mit einem Bandana und Aufmal-Tattoos. Kaum zu glauben, aber wahr: Meine Geolehrerein schickte mich jener Tage aus dem Unterricht, weil ich das Kopftuch nicht abnehmen wollte. Zeiten waren das!
Perhaps we also need to consider the bigger picture. Did the new laziness of the younger generation, which is complained about by employers everywhere, manifest itself in the ongoing trend of casual looks in the classroom? If so, trying to get today’s youth back on track in terms of clothing would be even more reactionary than anticipated. Will today’s messy teenagers become well-behaved employees of tomorrow? No, definitely not. It’s probably for the best.